Thursday, 23 July 2015

Not just Nigerians, stay away from men like this

Here is an advice/observation article I wrote in my weekly column in Daily Monitor.

I am not cut out for this. I will start with a disclaimer. I am not a kojja or whatever they call a “relationship guru”. I even hate anyone referring to me as such. But I am because an uncle to some, and at least a decade older than the youngins I associate with, and a big brother, and most importantly, because my daughter will read this, I will comment where I can on this article by City Girl in Nairobi News. The title tells it all: Things that tell your Nigerian man is a big con.
Since she wanted it to get to as many people as possible, I guess she would not mind me reproducing some excerpts. Also in line with Nelson Mandela Day (marked every July), where we are called to volunteer 67 minutes for a charitable act, I took out 67 to volunteer this “charitable” piece of advice (in italics).

This is what City Girl says: “…here are a few pointers you need to look out for… If he exhibits any of these traits, then you are dealing with a riffraff.”

He is too romantic: You have never met a man like him…He is not like the unromantic [other] men…He calls you ‘baby’ all the time except when he calls you ‘my queen’….and she nails in this line…It is not humanly possible for a man to be 100 per cent romantic, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
I always wonder why women always fall for this romantic guy BS? Let me just say this, it is the easy part to act than any other. Well summed in this statement: Women may fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships!

He throws money at you: No man in his right mind will throw money at a woman….But this Nigerian is the most generous man you have ever met... He even gives you money before you ask for it... He debunks every myth you have ever heard about Nigerian men swindling women off their money…You think that the Lord has finally smiled upon you and given you a wonderful man who is not only loving, but also rich. All those prayers.. for a husband have finally been answered. Shock on you….(Sic)
In the paragraph above, replace Nigerian with man. Any serious man would not just throw money at a woman. Any self-respecting man would not throw money at a woman he respects. We throw money at whores, strippers and jump-offs. Any man who has money/wealth/riches or somewhat comfortable with the finances would not try too hard to show off.

He moves in with you: So he gives you a cock and bull story about how he is putting up with a friend…[blah blah]. You pity him and allow him to put up with you in your house for a short while…. Every week, he has a new excuse. A week turns into a month and before you know it, you are co-habiting…
My take: Take a stand, throw him out. Change the locks

He has mysterious ‘trips’: He purports to be a businessman but you are not exactly sure what he does for a living…. He travels often…for ‘business trips’. You don’t care what he does for a living mainly because of all the goodies he brings you. Lingerie. Expensive shoes. Perfumes. Dresses. Bags.
My honest appeal: Please, please, pleaseeee….know what your man does for a living!
You have been warned. Stay away from Nigerian men.
My warning, stay away from men like this…especially Nigerians